Stories from the Front – How to have squeaky clean hair

How to Get Squeaky Clean Hair
Sequel to How to Have Silky Hair

I have discovered the secret to having squeaky clean hair. My mom thinks that this is a great beauty tip and that some of her lady friends and fellow moms would appreciate my sharing this with you all.
Take your little sister’s potty seat (you know, the kind that lift off and on the real seat) and put it on your head. Take care to pull it all the way down to your neck so as to insure that it gets really stuck!

Have your poor babysitter try to get it off for you. This won’t work but in order to be sure you achieve the same results you should go through all the steps.

Anyway, the babysitter should then call her sister to come help. FYI…this won’t work either.

Have the babysitter call your mommy and ask what to do. Hint…it helps if your mom is terribly distracted and has lost her keys and is going to be late for a really important appointment.

Mommy will advise her to get the baby oil out and grease your head up and try to get it off that way. She will probably also tell her to hurt you if she to to get it off but don’t take this personally. Mommy knows that you can’t go through life with a toilet seat around your neck and that calling the fire department to get it off would be really embarrassing.

This will work and the toilet should come off.

Babysitter should then attempt to was your hair to get rid of the just got out of pool look.

Add this to your list off things that won’t work but you still gotta do.

Finally, have Mommy wash your hair several times with dishwashing liquid. You know, Dawn takes grease out of the way.

Listen carefully…your hair should really squeak while she’s scrubbing! Very cool!

Good luck with implementing the latest tip from our household into your beauty regimen!

P.S. If your mommy says something about Providence or what goes around comes around, don’t take that personally either. She’s probably just thinking about that time that you stuck sticky mouse traps in your sister’s hair!

Sincerely,
Noah, age 4 1/2

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