I\u2019ve Created A Monster
\n\u00a9Lisa Barker<\/p>\n
I have another theory about why my youngest is so brash and demanding.\u00a0 He\u2019s a celebrity.<\/p>\n
I thought he couldn\u2019t read, but he must have discovered his starring role in the Jelly Mom column and now he treats the whole family like we\u2019re dim-witted assistants that he can just order around and fire at will.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s your breakfast, kiddo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said I want eggs!\u201d<\/p>\n
Oh, don\u2019t worry.\u00a0 I don\u2019t fry him eggs.\u00a0 I just take away his only option for breakfast.\u00a0 It makes him a little more courteous at lunch.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere\u2019s a tuna sandwich.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat I want peanut butter.\u00a0 Please.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a token please, tacked on the end after great personal struggle with himself, but now we\u2019re finally getting somewhere.<\/p>\n
Just about the time I think I\u2019ve civilized him again and think he might actually ask for his snack in a more polite tone, his older brother comes home from summer school bearing gifts he earned for behaving all day.\u00a0 I can just read the youngest one\u2019s mind:\u00a0 See ya, Mom, and all your stupid rules about courtesy. Big Brother brought me toys!<\/p>\n
Well, soon enough the two boys are fighting.\u00a0 Big Brother has repossessed Little Brother\u2019s toys because he can.\u00a0 He says Little Brother was rude to him, but I know that Big Brother giveth and Big Brother taketh.\u00a0 (Sometimes I wish he wasn\u2019t so generous in the first place.)<\/p>\n
Yet I take Big Brother\u2019s side when Little Brother pops off with rapid-fire demands:\u00a0 You give me the toys!\u00a0 You play with me out back!\u00a0 You stupid idiot!!<\/p>\n
He comes crying to me for justice.\u00a0 \u201cMomma, no one will play with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not easy being the youngest in the family.\u00a0 All those promises about how great it is to be a big boy and you still don\u2019t get your own way, still can\u2019t make people do what you want them to do, still can\u2019t do nothing!
\nHe thought that when he turned five-years old he would start going to school the very next day.\u00a0 He packed his backpack, carried a book and told me he needed a lunch to go.\u00a0 But I said he had to wait until the fall, some mysterious other time that is still too difficult for him to fathom, sometime after an equally puzzling thing called \u2018summer vacation.\u2019<\/p>\n
He gets up at the crack of dawn every day, just in case that\u2019s the morning school starts.\u00a0 He can\u2019t be late for the bus!\u00a0 He packs his backpack again and I tell him to wait some more.<\/p>\n
I almost pity him.\u00a0 But when I give him grapes for his snack and he screams at me, \u201cI wanted apples!\u201d I pity the kindergarten teacher he will get.<\/p>\n
For now, someone needs a nap.<\/p>\n
—————————————————
\nJelly Mom\u2122 is written by Lisa Barker, author of “Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane…Doesn’t Mean You Are A Bad Parent!” and syndicated through Martin-Ola Press\/Parent To Parent. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave comments, please visit www.jellymom.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019ve Created A Monster \u00a9Lisa Barker I have another theory about why my youngest is so brash and demanding.\u00a0 He\u2019s a celebrity. I thought he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[57],"class_list":["post-130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jelly-mom-column","tag-jelly-mom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}