It Gets Their Attention
\n\u00a9Lisa Barker<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve said it before and I will say it again.\u00a0 If you want your kids\u2019 attention either sit down with a good book, make a phone call or put on some headphones. Sure enough, they\u2019ll be at your elbow hollering at the top of their lungs in no time.<\/p>\n
It never fails.\u00a0 I\u2019m on the phone and calamity strikes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs this a good time for you to talk?\u201d the caller asks, as what sounds like a stack of dishes dropped on the floor thunders through the house.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust as good as any,\u201d I reply.\u00a0 She proceeds while I interrupt several times asking her to repeat what she said.<\/p>\n
Finally, I bark, \u201cGo to your room now!\u201d right into her ear.\u00a0 I wonder why so many people hang up on me.<\/p>\n
Recently I discovered a new way to get my kids\u2019 attention.\u00a0 Try sleeping in.\u00a0 It\u2019s still summer vacation so I don\u2019t have to get up early and rouse everyone out of bed.\u00a0 You would think they\u2019d appreciate an extra hour in bed, but no.<\/p>\n
From the first week or two the two boys were up at the crack of dawn, drawing swords and launching right into the battle they\u2019d suspended the night before when I sent them to bed bickering and screaming at each other.<\/p>\n
\u201cQUIET!\u201d\u00a0 I yell down the hall.\u00a0 I might as well be a substitute teacher in an band class.\u00a0 It ain\u2019t happening.<\/p>\n
Finally, I trod down the hall and read them the riot act.\u00a0 I go back to bed.\u00a0 There is no way I am going to get up to that noise so I pray for just twenty minutes of quiet.\u00a0 Five minutes later they\u2019re at it again.<\/p>\n
Did you know that cussing in children is proportionate to sleep deprivation for their parents?\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know where they get their potty mouths.<\/p>\n
At last they learn what I mean by reading quietly until I tell them they can get up.\u00a0 It\u2019s a new morning and no one has uttered one word.\u00a0 Then the door slams open and my oldest son screeches in his nasally high-pitched pre-pubescent voice, \u201cMomma, am I doing a good job today?\u201d<\/p>\n
The odds in favor of spontaneous human combustion are directly related to the number of kids one has, especially if they have kids that are prime candidates for the Darwin award.\u00a0 Even the teens have had enough.\u00a0 What\u2019s worse?\u00a0 Hearing your little brothers shouting at each other like they\u2019re in a wind tunnel or your mother going off like a sonic boom?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll tell you what\u2019s worse.\u00a0 It\u2019s finally getting that extra twenty minutes I wanted and the phone rings.\u00a0 The bedroom door slams open again.\u00a0 \u201cMomma, it\u2019s for you!\u201d<\/p>\n
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\nJelly Mom\u2122 is written by Lisa Barker, author of “Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane…Doesn’t Mean You Are A Bad Parent!” and syndicated through Martin-Ola Press\/Parent To Parent. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave comments, please visit http:\/\/www.jellymom.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It Gets Their Attention \u00a9Lisa Barker I\u2019ve said it before and I will say it again.\u00a0 If you want your kids\u2019 attention either sit down […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jelly-mom-column"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=132"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/132\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}