He had on his pirate cape, his pirate hat…and a pink purse slung over his right shoulder. He was ready for action.<\/p>\n
Until the ants attacked.<\/p>\n
Little girls keep tissue, lip gloss and hair barrettes in their purses. Little pirates keep Goldfish Crackers and apples. Ants like Goldfish Crackers and apples.<\/p>\n
Ever hear a pirate scream? It\u2019s a bloodcurdling cry that sends shivers up a mom\u2019s spine. I came running. \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnts! Ants!\u201d he screamed and danced in place. Pirates don\u2019t like ants. Rolie-polies are okay. And butterflies. But not ants.<\/p>\n
We shook out his purse, but the ants kept coming. So we had to hang it from the swing until the ants had their fill and left.<\/p>\n
The next day my little pirate was dressed and ready for action again. This time he had his hook and a sword.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s your purse?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d That\u2019s my youngest son\u2019s way of omitting information he doesn\u2019t want to give. He didn\u2019t want the purse anymore. He\u2019d surrendered it to the plundering and pillaging ants. But now he had my pink sequined flip-flops. A pirate is never fully dressed without some sort of pink accessory, don\u2019t you know.<\/p>\n
But he needed something in which to carry his Goldfish Crackers. This time he made do with a sandwich bag. I gave him two treats for the dog as well and off went Pirate Boy and his loyal companion.<\/p>\n
Later he tells me that Pirate Dog loves Goldfish Crackers and that dog treats taste great.<\/p>\n
\u201cDog treats? Those are for the dog!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat else have you and Pirate Dog been up to?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNooooooooooooothing.\u201d This is the second stage of pirate denial. A quick scan of the back porch step revealed some clues.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I told you to leave the dog\u2019s water dish alone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s mud.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is now. What\u2019s the dog going to drink?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cApple juice!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I suppose he wants a sippy cup, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
So I arranged some refreshments for Pirate Boy and Pirate Dog and they left to scour the backyard for treasure. Soon, my kitchen counter was lined with interesting pirate treasure for me: odd shaped rocks, a dried weed flower and something unidentifiable that only Pirate Boys can name but I was too prudent to ask.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I have my shoes back?\u201d<\/p>\n
He relented, embarked on another pirate adventure and soon returned jubilant. \u201cI found my cowboy hat!\u201d he crowed, with it perched on his head, dusty and sprinkled with cobwebs. And off he went to seek treasure and hidden dog treats at great peril.<\/p>\n
But I didn\u2019t worry. He\u2019ll not be bested or vanquished. That\u2019s because all pirates know the power of accessorizing.<\/p>\n
. . . . . . . . . . .
\nJelly Mom\u2122 is written by Lisa Barker, mother of five and author of “Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane… Doesn’t Mean You Are A Bad Parent!” and is syndicated through Parent To Parent\u2122. To publish Jelly Mom\u2122, buy the book or leave comments, please visit http:\/\/www.jellymom.com. Sign up for the complimentary Jelly Mom\u2122 weekly newsletter and receive a BONUS GIFT!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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