{"id":237,"date":"2009-06-06T01:28:09","date_gmt":"2009-06-06T01:28:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/?p=237"},"modified":"2009-06-06T01:29:49","modified_gmt":"2009-06-06T01:29:49","slug":"anger-management-tips-for-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/?p=237","title":{"rendered":"Anger Management tips for parents"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"Angry<\/a><\/dt>\n
Image by Piez<\/a> via Flickr<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A guest post by Carrie Lauth of NaturalMomsTalkRadio.com<\/a> <\/p>\n

Anger – it sounds like a dirty word, but the more we try to avoid it, the more we feel it. Is anger so bad? Is there a positive way we Moms can learn from our anger and model productive ways to express feelings?<\/p>\n

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with anger. Anger, like all emotions, is merely a messenger. Anger is there to alert you to something wrong in your environment. Perhaps you\u2019ve been ignoring your feelings of frustration, annoyance, or burden far too long. Anger is likely to be the result. Psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott once said that \u201cHumans can be a little nicer than they feel, but not a lot.\u201d I agree with that statement! So if you feel anger welling up, what can you do to avoid exploding, especially on someone nearby?<\/p>\n

1- Leave the situation
\nAs soon as possible, take your leave for a moment. Explain to the person you\u2019re with that you need a moment, but don\u2019t ask for their permission. Walk away. If the person you\u2019re talking to is a very small child, you might not be able to leave them alone, but you can turn around and remove your attention for a moment.<\/p>\n

While you\u2019re having your \u201ctimeout\u201d, do something productive. Practice deep breathing exercises. Take a walk. Pray. Rehearse what your next words will be so you have more control over your response. Don\u2019t just dwell on your negative feelings, find something positive you can do to restore your emotional balance.<\/p>\n

2- Try laughter
\nHumor can diffuse a situation like nothing else. So if you are steaming, think of something amusing. Your favorite line from a funny movie, something silly your child did, whatever it is. Laughter helps put things into perspective and can turn around your mood quickly.<\/p>\n

3- Decide on your response ahead of time
\nIt\u2019s helpful to decide ahead of time what you\u2019ll do when you feel yourself getting angry. If you\u2019re a yeller, make a pact with yourself that you\u2019ll whisper when you get angry. If you\u2019re dealing with a manipulative person, rehearse a phrase like: \u201cThat deserves consideration. I\u2019ll think about it and get back to you on that.\u201d to put yourself back in control.<\/p>\n

Or write your feelings in a note. This works really well with children. For example, if your teen promised to clean the kitchen but never got around to it, tape a note to the fridge that says: \u201cA Dirty Kitchen Makes Mom Start Witchin\u201d Signed, The Management<\/p>\n

Be determined to focus on the behavior that triggers your anger, not the person, and inform them what they can do to make things right with you.<\/p>\n

Instead of saying: \u201cYou lazy, greedy brat!\u201d try \u201cI am so angry that you decided to play video games instead of clean up your room. In the future, I expect you to keep your promises to me. When will you be starting on this room?\u201d<\/p>\n

4- Analyze your anger
\nIf you lose it and blow up, try to explore what led to it. It might be helpful to write down what was happening in the hours leading up to the explosion. Was someone really pushing your buttons and instead of setting a boundary, you let them continue? Has it been way too long since you\u2019ve had some time to yourself? Had it been many hours since you and everyone else had eaten? What could you do differently next time? Is there an area where you could change your routine for everyone\u2019s benefit?<\/p>\n

Every parent loses their temper from time to time. It\u2019s not helpful to wallow in guilt or beat yourself up. Anger isn\u2019t an unacceptable emotion. What\u2019s unacceptable is how it\u2019s sometimes expressed. Hopefully these tips will you learn to express your anger in a way you and your family can live with.<\/p>\n

Carrie Lauth is the host of www.NaturalMomsTalkRadio.com<\/a> a free internet talk radio show and podcast for Moms practicing gentle discipline. Come have a listen.<\/p>\n

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