How to Redecorate Your Room<\/p>\n
by Riley, Age 3<\/p>\n
First, you go in your mom’s purse and get out the smiley face stamp that she keeps to reward you for good behavior.\u00a0 (Yes, I know it’s naughty to go in your mom’s purse)<\/p>\n
Then, you sneak upstairs while she is ironing.\u00a0 (Yes, I know you all thought she just wasn’t watching me)<\/p>\n
Stamp the smiley’s all over your wall as far up as you can reach.\u00a0 When you’ve gotten that high climb up on your play kitchen and get the rest of the way up the wall.\u00a0 Don’t worry about the fact that you have been told repeatedly not to climb on this.\u00a0 Your Mommy will be so stunned by your craftiness that she won’t get on to you for this.<\/p>\n
Next, move on to the next wall and stamp all up over it as far as you can.<\/p>\n
Now, by this point your stamp will be getting low on ink and you may be a bit worn out from both the work and the exhilaration of naughtiness so it is ok to just put a few sporadic smiles on the remaining walls.\u00a0 I promise that it will not diminish the effect!\u00a0 I’ve tested this to be sure.<\/p>\n
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that moms are apparently tipped off by the sound of crashing (as you jump off of the kitchen that you aren’t supposed to climb on) and hysterical laughter (because your brother thinks what you are doing is a riot).\u00a0 If your big brother rats you out like this you can get him back by blacking his eye with a piece of metal while he is lying on the couch watching TV!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
How to Redecorate Your Room by Riley, Age 3 First, you go in your mom’s purse and get out the smiley face stamp that she […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-71","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stories-from-the-front"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=71"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":192,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71\/revisions\/192"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=71"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=71"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/parentingzoo.com\/members\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=71"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}